In the Light
The National Association of Real Estate Investment Trusts (NAREIT) announced the winners of its annual Leader in the Light Awards this week, presented in cooperation with the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency’s ENERGY STAR program. Gold awards were bestowed on Vornado Realty Trust and Liberty Property Trust for demonstrated superior and sustained energy use practices. Apartment REITs were largely absent from the showings, as ENERGY STAR is still working to develop an energy usage database with which to benchmark multifamily portfolios and eventually create an ENERGY STAR ratings and certification program. Part of the database challenge on the apartment side is reconciling in-unit resident consumption, a data set that can be difficult to obtain from consumers. Hopefully that’s ultimately filed under the “some things you can’t hide” category.  

Total Shocker
It looks like Englishman Tony Gilesnan is done with the dish. Following an argument over a Sky TV satellite package with landlord Eric Malcolm, the Cambridge, U.K., resident was shocked—literally—when Malcolm wired a 240-volt electrical cable booby trap to Gilesnan’s living room door handle and then hit him over the head with a hammer. After hearing the electrifying evidence in the case, Cambridge Court Judge Gareth Hawkesworth jailed Malcolm for four years, saying the landlord was “unpredictable” and may commit further violent offences in the future. No word on where Gilesnan has gone to seek a new residence, but we’re pretty sure it’s not down here.

There is No Substitute
From the Porsche Design Studio (those great German folks that brought you the Porsche 911 and related men’s luxury accessories including watches and sunglasses) comes a twist on the iconic Stallion-emblazoned design pastiche: the Porsche condo, a 57-story tower in Sunny Isles Beach, Fla., outfitted with a robotic parking system that will locate owners' cars next to their luxury unit. Have more than one set of wheels? Of course you do. Don’t worry: Plans submitted to the city by Porsche Design and developer Dezar Properties in preparation for a public hearing tonight show that the building calls for 132 condo units with 284 robotic parking spaces. Yeah, we were wondering if they’ll even let you park your Lamborghini there. While you muse on that, make sure to revisit the semi-NSFW most classic Porsche ride of all time, because Princeton can use a guy like Joel.

*Editor’s note: Send a list of the hidden '80s playlist songs to [email protected] and get a shout-out in the next Quick & Quirky.